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| So, reading back on these "blogs" I sort of sound like a whiney little bitch. Oh well, I suppose that's what these things are for, venting, to get you in trouble later in life when you're trying to get a career... or when you become a candidate for president.. I've been thinking about making a happy-esque blog. Deleting this one... and creating one about all... happy things. Positive things. I figure... maybe if I talk about happy things... display happiness and good things, then maybe by cause and effect... I'll become happy? Probably not... but maybe it's worth a try? I'd love to be happy... | | |
| ... so I could write a book based on the story a women told me today. I had just got to work, and she was probably the 2nd customer of the day. A little, sweet looking old woman. She began her story by telling me she was 84 years old, and without even being asked, she gave me a very interesting and personal look into her life.
This woman, this 84 year old, had recently married the man she'd loved since she was 10 years old. She said she had been married before, but even then always thought about this man. It wasn't until after her daughter died (on Valentine's Day, a surprising twist for me) that her lost love had contacted her again after all the years. They moved in together, and got married, 84 years young. She told me about how she was getting used to living with him, and how even just seeing him sitting there reading the paper and drinking coffee made her full of love and happiness. I stood there in shock, with a most likely dumb looking smile on my face, as she went on with her story. She told me about how even though he's 84, he still is always up and moving around, and how he redid all of the cabinets in their home, along with alphabetizing the canned goods, which she still can't get used too. She told me was how she never got the chance to date him while they were younger. She said she asked him why he never went after her, and he said because she was always going steady with someone else. And how happy she was after all these years that they finally got together. The last thing she said was that even though it took her so long, she finally got him. And even if he does drive her crazy some times, she knows now that she can and will die happy.
This lady gave me a strange feeling of hope. I wish I was good with words so I could write a novel based on this story. I'm still kind of awe-struck from the randomness of the whole thing. There I was, ringing up her cookie, and she felt that I was kind and trust worthy enough to tell me her story. I hope her and her perfect man have many more happy years together.
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| As many guy friends as I have, and after being the manager for the guy's soccer team for two years, you'd think I'd understand them a bit more. But no, I don't.
Boy A I haven't seen for three years, and runs it to me randomly. We hang out, and he's trying to cop a feel the entire time. Not so cool buddy. I'm not a hussy. So I shoot him down. He tries again. I tell him to stop or I'm going to punch him in the back of the head. I think he finally got the point.
Boy 2 I can't really tell if he likes me or not, but it doesn't really matter because he's going back to the motherland in a few months.
Boys III-V I shamelessly hit on, but they seem to like me only as friends, much to my avail.
Aye dios mio.
So where's this magical guy that I like and likes me back... with the fireworks and the romantic sappy music in the background?
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| So, describing this weekend as shitty would be quite an understatement really. Let's start at the beginning.
My friend's 21st birthday was on the 9th, so I thought it'd be nice to go down the following weekend and hang out with her and such. Things turned into plans, and we finally decided we were going to go to Cedar Point on Saturday. Fantastic right? Well it was supposed to be.
So, I leave Indy around 930 or 10 Friday night and get to Ohio around midnightish. She tells me that's she's out at a bar, and I can just meet her there, and to get on Interstate 75. Well, I missed the turn, and got lost in the ghetto and downtown of Dayton. Awesome right? So finally after one of her friends tells me how to get there, I find my way there. So I spend an awkward hour at that bar. After that, I follow her back to take her friend home, barely keeping up with her driving. After that, she wants to go to another bar, so I try to follow again. At this point she's driving like 20 over the speed limit, even though she said she wasn't. I was quite pissed at this point, trying to keep up, and trying not to speed too much because I really can't afford a traffic ticket. So we get to this other bar. It's insanely crowded, I mean people everywhere. I hate hate hate big crowds of people. This wasn't a mild crowd either. Quite the rowdy one. So we find who she's been looking for, and I stand there awkwardly as they talk/fight/flirt. Some crazy drunk chick starts a fight with a ghetto guy, and I think that I'm going to get shot. Awesome.
So we left that bar, and headed back to her house. The guy she met up with at the bar wants her to come up to his friends house and hang out. Me not wanting to keep her from doing anything, agree to go. We get there, and it's about 3 in the morning at this point. She ends up pretty much falling asleep on the couch, so we stay there for the night. She goes to sleep in the other room, while I try to sleep on a leather couch. Try being the key word. No sleep at all on Friday night/Saturday morning.
I "woke up" around 11 and we headed back to her house. We finally decided we'll just get to Cedar Point later, and it'd be cheaper anyway. We have an awesome little road trip there. Laughing, joking, have fun.
First hour or so is fine at Cedar Point. Keep in mind we're both tired, running on no sleep and a four hour car ride. She starts getting a head ach, and a bad mood comes out. I admit, I was being kind of a bitch too, but whatever. We got into a silent fight, and left the park, walking back to the car in silence. After about 20 minutes of awkward silence, she kinda starts talking to me again. Everything seems to be okay.
She's about to fall asleep, so we stop at McDonalds and a gas station to get coffee. The coffee is important in this story, and will return later.
She lost her contact lens, and found it again, not really important but anywho. So we're driving, and after running out of cds and nothing on the radio, we decide to stop at Meijer to get some music. We go in, everythings still fine, still joking around. We get back in the car, and I hadn't seen that she had sit her coffee next to the bags. I also forgot that I had put the GPS on the floorboard by my feet. I grab one of the bags, and the coffee falls over, right onto the GPS.
Shit shit shit.
At first, it works fine, and we almost make it back to the interstate. But then suddenly, it dies. She shuts of the music, and goes dead quiet. Doesn't say anything, doesn't acknowledge that I'm even alive. I try to get the thing to work for another two hours, tears running down my face, feeling like a total bitch and shit. She still doesn't say anything to me. She calls her guy friend from the day before, talks to him, jokingly, like I'm not even there. I feel like even more of a piece of shit, bawling my eyes out next to her silently, still trying to get the damn GPS to work. After about 4 hours when we're finally almost home, I give up, sitting the GPS down. About two minutes later, it turns on, working like nothing even happened. She still doesn't talk to me.
We get back to her house, she doesn't say anything, and goes to walk her dog. I gather my things, all set on leaving that night, with no sleep and crying. She comes back in and tells me I'm not going anywhere, it's 2 in the morning, just to stay. She kind of talks to me a bit, not much.
We go to bed. She gets up and I guess I fell back asleep. I woke up to the hair dryer and got up. She tells me to get my stuff together we're leaving. I didn't have time to do anything, not even brush my teeth or anything. She drives crazy fast again, and I struggle to keep up. I send her a text, asking if we're okay, and she says she doesn't know. I try to joke around with her, no response.
We get off at my exit. She keeps driving right past the turn for my apartments. I turn in, and send her a text saying I guess that means we're not cool. She sends one back saying she's at walmart I can come there if I want whatever. I send one back saying I'm sorry and I don't know what else to do or say, and for her to call me when she doesn't hate me anymore. She doesn't answer. I send her another one practically begging her to tell me how to fix this whole situation. Still no answer.
So that's where I am now. Haven't slept really in two days, confused, and hurt... along with feeling like the biggest fuck up ever.
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| So tonight was interesting...
Had a tornado warning, thought I was going to die, while at work. We got to go through the catacomb that is the hallways of the mall.. Good news is, we didn't get hit by anything.
So after that, as I'm still shaking, and confused.. one of the.. gypsies as we call them, from one of the kiosks in the mall, comes up. I've seen him before, and he's smiled at me. He is quite handsome.. So, to make a long story short, he talked to me for about, an hour. And we maybe hanging out Sunday. And I may be excited. Just maybe.
I have two days off in a row! YAY!
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